Listening to a guided meditation the speaker asked me to imagine a safe place. I thought of all the places I have been to and it dawned on me that I didn’t feel safe anywhere. Now that I was aware of the problem I was actively seeking a new solution. It snuck up on me through a mandatory meditation walk, required training for a martial arts class.
Leading up to the meditation walk I felt scared I would get poison oak. On the walk I became aware of how unnatural it is for an earthling to be afraid of nature. As part of a group I saw and heard a broad range of comfort with being in a forest. This showed me where I was at and what feeling really comfortable and safe looked like.
I heard being in nature spoken of as a satisfying sexual experience.
What??? Really??? At the time I didn’t feel this way, I was however very inspired to continue the practice and see where it led me.