Chapter 3: Jaded, Bitter, Resentful
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(See the bottom of this post for the Video version of Chapter 3)
My second marriage became deeply dysfunctional.
Day-to-day life was filled with disconnection, anger, and unmet needs. It felt toxic. Every day carried a sense of tension—like I never knew when the next conflict would erupt. Peace was rare.
Whenever a need came up—mine or hers—any attempt to express it would immediately turn into conflict. One of the last relationship counselors we saw described our dynamic perfectly: “continuous rebuttal.”
No matter what one of us said, the response was always:
“Yeah, but…”
There was no listening. No reflection. No attempt to understand. Just immediate opposition.
There was no safety.
There were nights I slept on the couch—and even that didn’t feel safe. Eventually, I started sleeping in the garage, where I could lock the door. Sometimes I slept in my car.
That’s how bad it got.
By the end, I couldn’t wait to get out. I didn’t care where I went—I just knew I couldn’t spend another day in that environment.
