Chapter 8: What Is Abuse?
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(See the bottom of this post for the Video version of Chapter 8)
If someone does something that would normally be called abusive, but I don’t experience it as abuse—if it doesn’t land that way in my body, if it doesn’t take something from me, if it has no harmful effect—then that matters.
So when I try to define abuse, I start with impact.
People behave badly all the time. Sometimes it’s clearly abuse. Sometimes everyone agrees. Sometimes even the person doing it would admit it.
But for me, the first and most reliable indicator is…
