RelateI have found that relationship tools work, they are helpful and improve my relationships.  Like a good shovel it just works, you might get tired of digging ditches and want to quit, but the shovel still works regardless.  I say this because in one of my relationships I had the tools to understand our dynamic and I was unwilling to put up with the dysfunction.  Maybe if I did whatever she asked our relationship would have improved.  For me first and foremost I need to be treated with kindness and respect, if this doesn’t happen I will leave the relationship.  So the tools work, even if the relationship does not.  This is not a save the relationship at all costs course.  Or said another way I must first be kind and loving to myself, I must have something before I can give it to another.

Here is a podcast I recorded in the second year of my second marriage:  Divorce – How I Survived, Thrived, and Remarried.

No married couples gave me a manual or tools before I got married, they essentially let us get onboard a ship and head out into the pacific with no sailing instructions and no life preservers nor life boats.  I ship-wrecked twice and it was really painful and difficult, so below I share what I learned and hopefully help you relate and take care of the ship you and your partner get into.

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