We learn to talk by imitating those around us, this is why we speak the same language as our parents or caregivers. It seems to me that relationship is the same way, we learn to relate by copying those around us.
Learning to speak a foreign language is much easier when it is immersion, it’s easier to learn Spanish when living in Mexico. The opposite is also true in that it is much harder to learn healthy relationship skills when surrounded by people who relate poorly.
Speaking our native tongue is easy, even if it’s Pig Latin, gibberish, or Klingon, speaking it would be effortless on our part if we grew up immersed in this language. This is why dysfunctional relating comes so easily and is normal to us, since birth many of us have been surrounded by examples of what not to do. Relationships where no one is getting their needs met nor are they unconditionally loved…
After a gorgeous fun day at the lake we tried a new local restaurant with two other families. While eating one father said he couldn’t trade food because they are vegetarian. My wife commented how I don’t understand vegetarianism and asked him why they don’t eat meat.
Internally, as I was listening to him, my ego was in full on battle mode and finding inconsistencies, hypocrisy, and all kinds of reasons why his choice is wrong. If I had voiced my inner lawyer, what are the chances that he would say “oh wow I never thought of that, I’ve been such a fool and I’m going to start eating meat right now, thanks so much for educating me”? Probably about as likely as him convincing me to stop eating meat and changing my diet.
Later that evening I remembered the principle of common ground…
Last year’s Ocean Lovers wall calendar was a great success and a lot of fun. Having the calendars in my hands and seeing it on the wall every day has been amazing. Folks have asked me to do another for 2017, here is the link to back the Kickstarter campaign: Reconnecting with Nature 2017 Wall Calendar.
Visiting people who have it on their wall and hearing the feedback and appreciation has been awesome. Also discovering the Little Free Library organization and giving and delivering calendars to the book “houses” around the San Francisco Bay Area was a great joy.
For 2017 I am expanding the concept beyond the sea to include all of nature. A beautiful nature photo for every month of the year. The words of inspiration and encouragement that appear on various days throughout the month will continue the tradition of guiding us to reconnect with nature…
I checked Facebook the morning after the election and it was post after post of voting woes. Then I looked away from my phone and saw my 19 month old son playing happy as can be without a care in the world. He doesn’t care who won the election, he probably doesn’t know there was an election, nor what an election is…
The most unique surf session I have had yet. Fall always brings gifts, treats, and magical days. After six months of spring and summer onshore winds Ocean Beach smooths over for a beautiful day of fun waves, a pod of dolphins, and a Great White Shark jumping straight up clean out of the water. Maybe most incredible is that the Surfline camera captured the amazing shark jump. I always look forward to fall and appreciate the arrival, and now I suspect this day will stand out in my memories for a long time.
Below is the entire video with narration from this magical fall day.
Length – 02:57
I hope you enjoy…