by Clay Schmitz | Jun 6, 2016 | adventures, articles
When my first wife left me I was living in her house, in her neighborhood, next door to her brother and his wife, and most of my social relations were with their friends. So the day she walked out I lost most of my community and to say I felt isolated, lonely, and terrified would be a massive understatement. Also I didn’t see us living in this higher crime neighborhood for very long so I didn’t invest much time making friends nor knowing my neighbors. Further I was also doing most of my shopping either online or at the big box stores, so I didn’t have any relationships with the people that worked there. For me the pain of divorce was a huge wake up call to take a look at all my relationships and how I want to live.
When our first impulse is to invest our time and money outside the community we are…
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by Clay Schmitz | Mar 10, 2016 | adventures, articles
My electric bike was stolen out of our garage a few weeks ago. The feedback I heard was how brazen the thief was to come into the garage during the day while someone was home. This could be an easy chance to lose trust in our neighbors and neighborhood and to feel unsafe and in danger of losing more.
This is exactly what I did many years ago in my previous marriage when we lived in a higher crime area. My reaction was to get the weapons ready and install an alarm and camera system, and together with other neighbors, the mayor, and police chief we formed a sort of lynch mob. Even though the suspected thieves were now watched by everyone we felt more fearful, anxious, and unsafe. Our perception and thoughts about our neighborhood became narrowly focused on danger and the threat of crime and or violence…
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by Clay Schmitz | Feb 24, 2016 | adventures, articles
I am laying down on a rug, because it’s to painful to stand or sit down, when my son crawls into the other room. Getting up has been sending sharp shooting pains through my lower back so I figure crawling after him might be easier and quicker. As I’m crawling I notice it doesn’t hurt as much when I move my legs. So we crawl around the room together and make our way back to the rug. It feels so good to be able to move my legs after several days of feeling constant agonizing pain. This is the most excruciating physical pain I have ever felt, my wife had sciatica pain last year and she said it is more painful than labor pains…
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by Clay Schmitz | Jan 24, 2016 | adventures, articles
I ran into a friend the other day and she asked me about teaching paddleboarding and specifically what happens when you fall in the water? I quickly responded with, “you get wet”. She shook this unsettling thought off and voiced her concern about the “dirty” water. I said there is more healing in being in the ocean and nature than not, and she agreed.
Later as I was on my way home a deeper answer came to me along with a feeling of calm and connectedness…
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by Clay Schmitz | Oct 23, 2015 | adventures, articles
“If it was easy everyone would be doing it.” This idea that life is hard and needs to be overcome is how I lived the first 20 or 30 years of my life, no pain no gain was my motto. The idea of an easy and peaceful life was for wusses and viewed as undesirable or even impossible. I applied this way of thinking when I learned to surf, believing that I couldn’t afford lessons and I was afraid to ask for help, to do so would be a sign of weakness and make me a target for ridicule and rejection.
I remember like it was yesterday the excitement and beauty of the first time I caught a wave and went down the line riding the clear blue face and seeing the ocean floor race by underneath my board. It was a taste of a world I had only imagined, and this two week summer family vacation in Maui had whet my appetite…
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by Clay Schmitz | Sep 6, 2015 | adventures, articles
Since I was about five I worked in my grandfather’s small meat business. He was a genius at finding creative affordable solutions to everyday problems and did well financially, sadly it was often at the expense of his relationship with everyone around him. A lot of people who new him use harsh words to describe him. I was fortunate to go on a trip to Europe with him and see his hometown in Germany and I was able to see a warmer side to him that most people never saw. I also recognized part of myself in him, I have the same ability to see what’s not right and to see the solution. I also have his potential to come off cold and rigid, I have seen how much trouble that caused my grandfather and so I do my best to hear, acknowledge, and have compassion for the feelings and opinions of others.
At the meat shop my grandfather often told me not to smarten up the other guy…
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