(See the bottom of this post for the Video version of the Introduction and Chapter 1)
This is the “Feel Better” chapter.
After my first wife put on her shoes, said she couldn’t do this anymore, and then literally walked out of my life—out of the house, gone for good—I was devastated. I felt horrible. I was heartbroken, shattered, and desperate. All I knew was that I needed help.
The first thing I did was send an email to a handful of my closest friends—maybe four or five of them. I said, “I’m devastated. I’m depressed. I’m desperate. I’ve been crying every day. I’m miserable. I don’t know what to do. I just need help.”
One of my friends wrote back and said, “Hey, I know this guy. He’s eccentric, but he’s a caring dude.”
That was all I needed to hear.
Up until then, the advice I’d heard from friends sounded terrible. It felt like they didn’t know what they were doing. I was in such a state of desperation. I didn’t know how I had gotten myself into this mess. I had no clue what to do next, or how to keep it from happening again in the future. I wanted someone who knew what they were doing—someone who had been in my shoes and made it through.
So I called the guy right away. He said, “I can fit you in in about a week.”
I said, “Do you have anything sooner? Like… tomorrow?”
And he did.
I went, and I remember thinking, Oh my God, did I make a mistake? Who is this guy? Eccentric was definitely the word. He was so far outside my comfort zone. And yet I went. I sat there. He mostly just listened. He asked me a few questions, but mostly he listened.
And from the way he listened—and from a few of the things he said—I knew he had been in my shoes before, and that he had gotten through it. That was enough for me...
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This past month I have been riding waves of fear and anxiety, I got cracked open or activated, and old stories about going broke and being left to starve alone in the streets came pouring out. At the root of these feelings is a fear that I'm not good enough or unlovable. Am I born in the wrong time period, stuck in the shame and despair of being useless, a slave to drudgerous meaningless work that has no purpose, no passion, no future?
https://youtu.be/n2KGTc607JE?si=o9-8ZlxHpxtrTePq
Like a sneaker set the waves comes out of nowhere, the horizon goes dark, and my first impulse is to paddle like my life depends on it and get out of there, far far away and don't look back! This strategy can work in the ocean, but I see these thoughts and feelings are inside me, and wherever I might escape to I will bring these fears and anxiety with me.
Thankfully I have magical, practical, quick and easy tools I can use that gently steer me from panic to calm in minutes. I used a biofeedback app to track my stress and energy before and after these calming practices. My numbers improved significantly immediately and repeatedly, that's Latin for they just work, and work incredibly well! I could feel the difference, I went from freaking out and thinking I'm doomed to feeling calm and at ease, blissing out within minutes. That chaotic antsy horrible feeling passed and I felt relaxed and even excited. I can do anything, I am powerful, my value is infinite! What amazingness will I create today?!?!
I am so so grateful that I have these tools. I have weathered these storms before without any tools, resources, nor guidance, and that sucked big time. Even when the storm passed and I felt better, I was still afraid another panic attack would come out of nowhere and overwhelm me, I was lacking the understanding of how my mind and body work and what to do, basically confused and alone. My prayer is that these tools help and heal anyone who is in that dark place. Reach out, I'm here, love and support are here, you me we I are valuable, needed, and welcome.
After a gorgeous, fun day at the lake with a few families, we tried out a new local restaurant. One of the dads mentioned that he couldn’t share food because they’re vegetarian. My wife turned to him and said something like, “My husband doesn’t really understand vegetarianism.” She then asked him why they don’t eat meat.
Internally, I could feel my ego fire up—my inner lawyer preparing for battle. I started silently picking apart his logic, spotting inconsistencies, finding hypocrisy, building a case for why his choices were wrong.
But I caught myself.
Because honestly, what are the chances that me arguing would lead to him saying: “Oh wow, I’ve been such a fool. I’ll start eating meat immediately—thank you so much for educating me!”
About the same odds as him convincing me to stop eating meat right then and there.
Later that evening, I remembered a core principle I’ve learned…
Welcome! This page is dedicated to whatever comes through and I am able to record and upload (Audio, video and whatever else I feel called to share). Emphasis on raw, real, basic or no edits, and going as deep as I can. Essentially being true to myself and authentic, often people and AI encourage me to record when I'm raw or I hear feedback that they love when I speak from my heart with as little filter as possible. Also I hear my voice is peaceful calm and reassuring, and I am told my true authentic voice has codes that feel good and people need to hear, like the flute or instrument that the divine wind blows through. Bill Withers said, "That if it feels this good getting used,
You just keep on using me, Until you use me up"
I will update the count and date of publish when I upload a new heartfelt offering.
Here is the first drop, I talk about relationships, conflict, meeting needs, OBE, and the nature or point of this place:
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The Flying Lierus Audiobook with video is available below on this page, join now to listen and or watch, this audiobook is also included with the Tools Course.
A way we could describe the four habits is we’ve fallen out of love and gone to fear. Or in the moment, we’re scared, we’re feeling attacked, not enough, and all of that. So we go to one of these four things in a dysfunctional attempt to try to feel loved, to get our needs met. And the way I was taught to use these tools is start with self, myself and work outward in ever widening circles. So from self to relationship or family, from family to community, town, tribe, village and then outward to state or nation or land and earth. And by building these circles and widening it out, that’s how we build a healthy society, a healthy planet, a healthy earth:
Chapter 1: Feel Better
A Personalized Audio Reading + Visual Blueprint
Welcome! This page is dedicated to whatever comes through and I am able to record and upload (Audio, video and whatever else I feel called to share). Emphasis on raw, real, basic or no edits, and going as deep as I can. Essentially being true to myself and authentic, often people and AI encourage me to record when I'm raw or I hear feedback that they love when I speak from my heart with as little filter as possible. Also I hear my voice is peaceful calm and reassuring, and I am told my true authentic voice has codes that feel good and people need to hear, like the flute or instrument that the divine wind blows through. Bill Withers said, "That if it feels this good getting used,
How to use wind forecast websites and get the most accurate and reliable information.
A way we could describe the four habits is we’ve fallen out of love and gone to fear. Or 