This past month I have been riding waves of fear and anxiety, I got cracked open or activated, and old stories about going broke and being left to starve alone in the streets came pouring out. At the root of these feelings is a fear that I'm not good enough or unlovable. Am I born in the wrong time period, stuck in the shame and despair of being useless, a slave to drudgerous meaningless work that has no purpose, no passion, no future?
https://youtu.be/n2KGTc607JE?si=o9-8ZlxHpxtrTePq
Like a sneaker set the waves comes out of nowhere, the horizon goes dark, and my first impulse is to paddle like my life depends on it and get out of there, far far away and don't look back! This strategy can work in the ocean, but I see these thoughts and feelings are inside me, and wherever I might escape to I will bring these fears and anxiety with me.
Thankfully I have magical, practical, quick and easy tools I can use that gently steer me from panic to calm in minutes. I used a biofeedback app to track my stress and energy before and after these calming practices. My numbers improved significantly immediately and repeatedly, that's Latin for they just work, and work incredibly well! I could feel the difference, I went from freaking out and thinking I'm doomed to feeling calm and at ease, blissing out within minutes. That chaotic antsy horrible feeling passed and I felt relaxed and even excited. I can do anything, I am powerful, my value is infinite! What amazingness will I create today?!?!
I am so so grateful that I have these tools. I have weathered these storms before without any tools, resources, nor guidance, and that sucked big time. Even when the storm passed and I felt better, I was still afraid another panic attack would come out of nowhere and overwhelm me, I was lacking the understanding of how my mind and body work and what to do, basically confused and alone. My prayer is that these tools help and heal anyone who is in that dark place. Reach out, I'm here, love and support are here, you me we I are valuable, needed, and welcome.
How we ask or don't ask for what we need can make all the difference, there's that saying we get more bees with honey than vinegar. Even more effective than being sweet is being vulnerable, letting people see our struggle, pain, and suffering invites a natural empathetic response (this works with mature people, in the video I talk about a way to deal with immature or triggered reactions).
In this video I talk about the when, what, where, and how of communicating in a way that gets more of our needs met:
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Affirm - 1: validate, confirm.
b: to state positively.
2: to assert (something, such as a decree) as valid or confirmed.
3: to show or express a strong belief in or dedication to something.
Affirmations are saying or repeating statements that do all of the above.
Here on this page I made 3 affirmations videos to affirm what we want in our foiling, and the foiler we want to be.
Also additional ultra powerful affirmation videos for Jibes and Tacks.
PLUS I reveal the SECRET to affirmations:
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Seems the above statement should be a question until we get clear on what it means to be an expert.
I remember hearing a formula for so many hours of practice at a specific activity and then one becomes an expert. Where the weeds get thick is when this activity gets a label which implies one thing but in practice is nowhere near what’s been promised. One example that the internet loves to poke fun at is martial arts, when someone gets labeled a grand master black belt but their particular art is deemed ineffective in the street or in MMA, often dubbed Bullshido.
How to discern who is an expert? Are credentials essential? Does it matter who the credentialing organization is or who funds them? What’s the lay person’s litmus test?
The Tools For Surfing The Waves of Life course gives us the foundation to discern and decide what’s most likely true and the best decision we can make.
In the below video I explain the modern way one can become an expert:
I made a SUP surf foil board and a wing foil board a couple years ago and here is the status update after using these boards regularly for 2 years. Boards are still working, no delamination, nor structural break down. They have been great boards, very durable and functional, there has never been a day where I felt my performance or ability to foil was held back by the board being to heavy or some other material failure. The plant flax or linen cloth on the wing board has held up great with no signs of failure, I have been very rough with that board setting it on pavement and concrete and in the back of vehicles and drilled a big hole for a camera pole.
Here is a YouTube video where I talk a about the boards and foam:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=toHc5I4SmZU
The SUP surf foil board was my first build and the tracks lifted from the expanding glue, I have since found a solution and used it on my third board build, I share what I did below for members.
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The 5 levels of agreement are a tool to let us know what we are agreeing to, get more of our requests agreed to, and to align our expectations with reality. What do we do if people aren't keeping the agreements we make? I offer a tool to dig deeper, understand why, and have a better chance of getting what we want.
In this video I talk about agreements, give examples of well known agreements that aren't kept, explain the 5 Levels of Agreement, and aligning our expectations with reality:
If people are not keeping the agreements we make there are usually core wounds from childhood that are coming up. In this next video I give an example from my childhood where my father and I had different levels of agreement on time:
This past month I have been riding waves of fear and anxiety, I got cracked open or activated, and old stories about going broke and being left to starve alone in the streets came pouring out. At the root of these feelings is a fear that I'm not good enough or unlovable. Am I born in the wrong time period, stuck in the shame and despair of being useless, a slave to drudgerous meaningless work that has no purpose, no passion, no future?
How we ask or don't ask for what we need can make all the difference, there's that saying we get more bees with honey than vinegar. Even more effective than being sweet is being vulnerable, letting people see our struggle, pain, and suffering invites a natural empathetic response (this works with mature people, in the video I talk about a way to deal with immature or triggered reactions).
Affirm - 1: validate, confirm.
How to become an expert.
The 5 levels of agreement are a tool to let us know what we are agreeing to, get more of our requests agreed to, and to align our expectations with reality. What do we do if people aren't keeping the agreements we make? I offer a tool to dig deeper, understand why, and have a better chance of getting what we want.
